When it comes to premarital sex what are you told today? Everyone says, “Just make sure you use protection.” God says the same thing, but for completely different reasons, in completely different ways. The world tells you to use protection so when you choose to have sex you won’t suffer the physical consequences, like pregnancy or disease. But God’s protection is different. It isn’t a pill you take the morning after or in a box you buy at Wal-Mart. So what is God method of protection? It’s sexual purity. His protection saves your body and your heart.
1. Preserves Your Holiness.
God can only be in the presence of holiness and purity that’s why God says be holy and act as He does (1 Pet. 1:13). When people look at you, they should see your holy Dad. Sexual immorality, which is improper for God’s children(1 Cor. 6:13, 18, 20; Eph. 5), blurs your resemblance of God. So when you say, “God, I’m going to ignore your commands and my boyfriend and I are going to do what we want,” you reject Him and sin against your own body (1 Thess. 4:3-8), you reject holiness. God commands purity because it’s best for you and makes you more like Him.
2. Protects Your Reputation and the Gospel’s
The women in Titus taught the younger women how to be godly, to live in such a way that no one could say anything bad about them or Scripture (Titus 2:4-5). Self-control and purity are traits of a godly woman, a woman set apart for Christ. She loves God so much that she would rather live a holy, pure life than give in to temptations that only promise temporary pleasure. She wants to preserve her reputation, but more than anything, wants to uphold God’s.
Live in such a way that’s above reproach so there’s not even a whiff of sexual immorality in your life. If that means a couple is never alone but God’s temple is honored (1 Cor.6:19), so be it! If that means always keeping a door open if you’re in each other’s rooms but the Gospel is not maligned because of that, so be it! If that means waiting to kiss or hold hands for months after dating but no one can accuse you of any immorality, but instead they want to know your Lord and Savior, then so be it! What it comes down to is, which do you love more: yourself or Christ?
3. Protects Your Brother in Christ
Matt. 5:28 commands men to not check out women. I used to think that guys were SUPPOSED to check out girls, it was natural for them. But Christ says it’s the same as committing adultery. So what does that have to do with us?
If you knew you could save someone in your family from heartache and trouble, would you try as hard as you could to do so? Why wouldn’t you do the same for your spiritual brother? The guy you date, if he’s a Christian, is your brother in Christ. You can protect him by not purposefully dressing in a way that he’ll want to check you out. A daughter of the King doesn’t intentionally want guys to check her out but cares for her brother by dressing in a way that glorifies God.
You also protect your brother when you act in way that does not cause him to stumble sexually. He could be pressuring you to do certain things and you are going along with him, or you could be pressuring him. Either way you’re not protecting him and you’re not protecting his future wife. You don’t know for sure if you both are meant to be together, but you do know he has a future wife. So live in such a way that protects everyone.
4. Preserves Yourself for Your Intended Spouse
His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me. O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so pleases. – Song of Sol. 8:3-4
His left hand is under her head? His right hand embraces her? This bride in Song of Songs is now with her beloved, her husband. In a way, he’s snuggling her as his wife. She knows the joy of having been pure and the beauty of God’s intended plan. So she begs her sisters not to awaken love until it (God) desires, after marriage.
God does only good to His children. When He says, “Do not awaken love until it so desires, flee and avoid sexual immorality,” God is saying, “I have something beautiful and wonderful intended for you, if you’ll follow my ways and stay pure. The way I intended sex is only truly enjoyable within marriage.” He will NEVER withhold good from you, and if you trust God He’ll lead you down the right path and take care of you.
For my husband, he waited 8 years to kiss his future wife because he knew that every girl he dated was someone’s wife, but he didn’t know if they were going to be his wife. He didn’t want to kiss another man’s wife. So when we started dating, he waited six months, until God made it clear that I was going his wife, to kiss me. He saved that and never regretted it, but we’ve both regretted anything we did that didn’t preserve us for each other.
5. Protects Your Future Marriage
The consequences of pre-marriage sexual experiences carry over into marriage and you’ll have to deal with them. They don’t go away once you’re married. The past partners and experiences will come into your relationship with your husband. There’ll be insecurities on both sides: “Am I good enough? Is she comparing me to them?”
The world tells you, “You need to see if you’re compatible sexually. They might be the one, so go ahead.” But God says, “Trust me, I have someone for you and when you marry that person you won’t regret saving yourself. If you don’t, when you finally marry, you’ll have wished with everything in you that you had waited and kept your marriage bed undefiled (Heb. 13:4).” A wise person once told me, “You’ll never regret taking it slow in relationships, but you’ll always regret going too fast.”
God laid out a plan in Scripture and gave you the tools to protect yourself for sexual purity. Do you trust Him when He says, “Wait!”? If you’ve doubted His plan before and given into temptation, you probably know the pain it brings. God is saying to you, “Come back and I will comfort you. It’s never too late.” There’s always forgiveness with the Lord, no matter what you’ve done in your past. You can’t out-sin His grace. If you haven’t strayed from God’s will in this area, stay strong! You will never regret it! God isn’t a liar; He is complete goodness, so trust His plan!